bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i will never coherently bang her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
