so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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