he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
