how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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