I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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