Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
