Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
