His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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