You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
