shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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