if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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