oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
