I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
