Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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