you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
