dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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