I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
