OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
