we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
