that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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