he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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