I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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