i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
