"it" just moved
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
