So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize