He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
