Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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