I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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