Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
