why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
