the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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