No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can't put those talents on a resume
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
