i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
