FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
