You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
