as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
