hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize