Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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