We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
