dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
