nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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