Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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