I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
