ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
