Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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