5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize