This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
