weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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