And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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