I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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