U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
