Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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