i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
