i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize