I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
