worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
