I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
