Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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