i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
