when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We need a shit load of segways right now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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