its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
The ass gains better be worth it
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