I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
