Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
