dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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