I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
