Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
