i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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