can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
